Middot at war 3: how do you pray?

“There are no atheists in foxholes” is a famous aphorism that has often been cited as a proposition that, at times of extreme fear or stress, even a person who does not believe in God in any conventional sense will find himself invoking the aid of a Higher Power.  The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) are a fighting force comprised of those who are deeply pious, those who are conventionally religious and those who have no commitment to any religion at all. We can scarcely imagine what goes on in the minds of its combatants when they are in action. Whether they pray, what they pray and what thoughts lie in their hearts are not for us to inquire.

Many of those of us who remain at home are also praying. We pray for the wellbeing of friends and family at the front, for their safe return, for the full recovery of those injured and for the comfort of those bereaved.

At Avot 2:18 Rabbi Shimon ben Netanel opens with two prayer-related teachings:

הֱוֵי זָהִיר בִּקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּבִתְפִלָּה. וּכְשֶׁאַתָּה מִתְפַּלֵּל, אַל תַּֽעַשׂ תְּפִלָּתְךָ קְבַע, אֶלָּא רַחֲמִים וְתַחֲנוּנִים לִפְנֵי הַמָּקוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: כִּי חַנּוּן וְרַחוּם הוּא, אֶֽרֶךְ אַפַּֽיִם וְרַב חֶֽסֶד, וְנִחָם עַל הָרָעָה

[Translation] Be careful when you recite the Shema and with prayer. When you pray, do not make your prayers routine, but rather [an entreaty for] mercy and a supplication before the Almighty, as it states (Joel 2:13): ``For He is benevolent and merciful, slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness, and relenting of the evil decree'' …

This is the only explicit reference to prayer in the whole tractate of Avot. The concept of prayer has however been read into various other contexts. Thus in Avot 1:2, avodah (“service”)—the usual word for the bringing of offerings to the Temple—is sometimes applied to prayer, the form of service we adopted when the bringing of sacrifices was no longer feasible (as Rambam explains in the first perek of Hilchot Tefillah). Later, in Avot 6:6, we see a list of 48 means of acquiring Torah wisdom, but this list does not mention prayer either. 

At times of war many people, regardless of their religious, philosophical or political opinions, experience an urge to pray to a higher authority of one sort or another. For the observant practising Jew there is a standard set of prayers that cover, among other things, God’s responsibility for delivering salvation, justice and peace as well as relief from illness, pain and suffering. These standard prayers can be, and often are, augmented by additional prayers which may be quite spontaneous.

Using a regular formula for daily prayer offers the advantage of familiarity and fluency: you don’t have to ponder about what to say and you are less likely to stumble over the words when you recite it. But familiarity has a downside too: it’s easy to switch one’s focus from prayer to other thoughts. Rabbi Shimon ben Netanel warns of this but there is no easy way to prevent it. We humans are created with minds that effortlessly associate one idea with another and, once the chain reaction begins, it can be difficult to end.

Those of us who use a regular prayer formula may have another problem to face. Sometimes our hearts and minds can be so preoccupied with our objective that we do not even notice when we reach the relevant part of our template and sail straight past it. This has happened to me on numerous occasions, particularly when recalling or re-living an event for which I was grateful so vividly that I did not notice that I had prayed my way through the prayer of gratitude, Modim anachnu lach. To my embarrassment I have had similar experiences when praying for the well-being or speedy recovery of family and friends.

The Kozhnitzer Maggid (Avot Yisrael) alludes to the difficulty of focusing on one’s prayer when one’s mind is full of other things when he explains the final mishnah in the fifth perek (5:26). There, Ben He He teaches “According to the effort [or ‘pain’, ‘distress’], so is the reward”. For him, the effort comes from the task of keeping one’s mind clear when praying when so many thoughts and ideas persist in trying to enter it.

None of us can bend God to our will, and the words of our prayers—whether “set piece” entreaties or spontaneous utterances from the heart—are not a process for magically getting what we want. However, if we do keep our mind on our prayers we can at least say that we have truly recognized that there are things we want that we cannot achieve for or by ourselves, and that we concede that there exists a greater power in our lives than even our own.