With great respect! Honouring others today

The background

It is inevitable that some bits of Pirkei Avot are more popular and more frequently cited than others. Even within the same mishnah some teachings are clearly more favoured. A good example is Avot 4:1, where Ben Zoma asks and answers four questions: who is (i) wise, (ii) strong, (iii) rich and (iv) honoured? Modern writers tend to cite and discuss the first three questions much more frequently than the fourth.

A possible explanation of this bias is that we are daily more concerned with matters of wisdom and the acquisition of knowledge, with inner and outward strength and with wealth than we are with issues involving honour. The notion of according honour to others does have a somewhat archaic, almost chivalric, sound to it—and, in days gone by, honour was something to which a person was principally entitled by virtue of status. Thus honour was part of the package of benefits to which one might be entitled if one were a monarch, the kohen gadol (high priest), a regular kohen, a Torah scholar, someone who had reached an advanced age, or a parent.

The Hebrew text of the fourth part of Avot 4:1 opens with:

אֵיזֶהוּ מְכֻבָּד, הַמְּכַבֵּד אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת

This is usually translated along the lines of “Who is the person who is honoured? The one who honours [other] people”.

There then follows a proof verse:

שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: כִּי מְכַבְּדַי אֲכַבֵּד וּבֹזַי יֵקָֽלּוּ

As it is said: “For those who honour Me I will honour, and those who treat Me insultingly, they will be made light of” (I Samuel 2:30).

The problem

The word translated in this mishnah as “honour” is kavod. The accuracy of this translation is beyond challenge and it is accepted in all the leading translations of Pirkei Avot. However, there is a problem in terms of colloquial nuance. “Honour” is a word that suggests in many circumstances something special and perhaps unusual; it not a term that crops up on a daily basis in our speech. This means that the relevance of Ben Zoma’s teaching in our everyday lives is minimised.

Ben Zoma clearly did not intend the word kavod to apply only to kings, high priests, parents and lofty personages. This is plain from his stipulation that the person who is honoured is one who honours all other people: the object of one’s kavodis beriot (literally “creations”), meaning “all other people by virtue of the fact that they have been created, not by virtue of their status or office”.

Many years ago Rabbi David Rowe suggested to me that the word kavod might in many contexts be more appropriately translated as “respect”, and it seems to me that this meaning of the word works very well here. While we may think it strange—and even somewhat facetious--to speak of the need to “honour” a storekeeper, taxi driver, waitress, healthcare receptionist or bank clerk, it makes good sense to view our relationships with them in terms of respect. And if we respect them in the way we speak to them and deal with them, it is unsurprising that they should reciprocate by treating us with respect too, even if this does not automatically on every single occasion.

The questions

How, then, should we go about respecting other people? I’ve listed some random suggestions below. Of the items listed, some are already included elsewhere in Pirkei Avot or are arguably mitzvot in their own right. They are, in no particular order:

• Greet others in a pleasant manner.
• Address others by their name if you know it, but don't call them by their first name where it would be inappropriate to do so.
• Speak to others in a calm tone of voice, regardless of one’s mood.
• Don’t stare into space or check your phone when someone is speaking to your face.
• Don’t interrupt others but let them finish what they are saying before you next speak.
• Don’t put the phone down on someone before the conversation is concluded.
• If you disagree with others, at least offer to give them a reason.If you are unable to keep a promise made to another person, tell that person rather than let them find out for themselves.
• When you have an appointment or are meeting someone at a specified time, do not be late and keep the other person waiting.

This is an “entry level” list, to apply to everyone else. Obviously, one may be obliged to do more when dealing with people whose status entitles them to receive a greater degree of respect, or even actual honour. Do you agree with these suggestions—and can you add to them?

Keeping honour at a distance

Avot 6:6 has a hit-list of criteria that have to be met by anyone who seeks to acquire knowledge of the Torah. There are theoretically 48 such criteria, of which one is to distance oneself from kavod.

Kavod, loosely translated as “honour”, is extensively discussed in Avot -- both in its positive and its negative aspects. But what is its connection to an individual's ability to acquire Torah.

If nothing else, the quest for kavod can be a major distraction. The urge to be honoured can be almost overwhelming, both in the case of those who actually deserve it and for those who believe they do. However, it's not all bad: even if one shouldn't seek it for oneself, it can be a wonderful thing to give to other people.

Apart from unanimously cautioning that honour and the quest for it is dangerous, what else do our Sages say about kavod and the need to keep away from it? Most commentators on Avot have little or nothing to say, since the meaning of this criterion is self-evident. Nevertheless, some later rabbis have added to it. Here are some perspectives.

• Someone who should by now have learned much Torah but hasn’t should not let his sense of lack of kavod distance him from going to the Bet Midrash (House of Study) to carry on learning (Rabbi Chanoch Zundel ben Yosef, Anaf Avot).
• It is best practice to keep kavod distant even when one has earned it and is receiving it from others but to be careful about not making a show of distancing oneself from it in order to flaunt one’s humility (Rabbi Yosef Yavetz).
• On the theme of literally keeping one's distance, one should take a detour rather than walk past people who are sitting down but would have to stand up respectfully if a much honoured person were to pass them (Rabbi Shmuel de Uçeda, Midrash Shmuel).

One aspect of kavod that the commentaries tend not to discuss is the actual process by which a Torah scholar seeks to obtain it.

It is taken as axiomatic that, if you chase after honour, it runs away from you but, if you run away from it – a policy in line with this teaching in Avot – it will seek you out. That however is the theory. In practice there is a blatant asymmetry: while everyone should flee from honour, honour does not run after everyone. In the real world we see for ourselves that honour runs after very few people indeed, and even then it rarely runs, or even breaks into a leisurely trot. Honour often plods after those who deserve it at a snail’s pace, reaching them many years after they have deserved it and sometimes long after they have already died.

But that's not all. Even when honour arrives, it may be the wrong sort of honour: it may be bestowed by someone whose opinion doesn’t count for much. Being honoured by someone you don’t have much respect for may feel almost as bad as not being honoured at all.

A Torah-true student will not fret about whether honour chases after him since that is not why he learns Torah. His glory-seeking colleague will however go through paroxysms of angst, asking himself questions such as: “how can I tell people I deserve honour without actually telling them?” “what means can I deploy to make sure that people notice me when I’m doing all the things I should be honoured for?” and “why am I still not being honoured when I am no worse than others who are?” All of this can be highly distracting for a person who is supposed to be focusing on accumulation of Torah understanding and not seeking honour -- and it will do little to foster the respect he has for others.

Not chasing after honour but keeping it at a respectable distance is not just a message for Torah students. In the secular world we have seen countless instances of people buying, or seeking to buy, medals, titles and positions of power and influence so that others will honour them. Even if they succeed in their acquisition, can they look themselves in the mirror and truly respect themselves.

Leadership challenges and failure at the highest level: a matter of honour

Following a week in which Israeli news has been dominated by political intrigue and unlikely alliances, the Torah directs our attention to Korach’s failed challenge to Moshe and Aharon’s leadership of Israel. Can this parashah offer an ethical commentary on Israel’s contemporary leadership battle, now that a cross-party campaign to dethrone another long-time leader seems poised to succeed?

When Korach tells Moshe that he has taken too much upon himself as the people’s leader (Bemidbar 16:3), he is not the first person to have made this point. Moshe’s father-in-law Yitro does so in no uncertain terms when he criticises him for making the people stand around all day while he judges their cases (Shemot 18:14). Moshe not only concedes Yitro’s point but, shortly before Korach’s challenge, he pointedly and eloquently complains to God that he cannot perform his leadership role unaided (Bemidbar 11:9-15).

Unlike most of the Torah’s flawed characters, Korach is not described as being evil. Midrashim recognise his wisdom (Bemidbar Rabbah 18:3), and the Torah itself testifies to his family pedigree as a senior Levi and to his charisma. Despite his wisdom and his talents, he is a man who is always losing out. He does not become a Prince; he is not appointed as a Kohen. Some 70 elders receive the gift of prophecy but he does not. When leading tribal personalities are appointed to spy out the Promised Land, his name is not among them. Somehow he is always passed over.

A Mishnah (Avot 5:20) describes Korach’s dispute with the established leaders as being the paradigm of a dispute that is “not for the sake of Heaven”, in contrast with the disputes between Hillel and Shammai whose arguments sought to clarify God’s will. Yitro had nothing to gain from his criticism of Moshe, any more than Hillel and Shammai stood to gain if one of them should out-reason the other. Korach however sought a wider distribution of powers and responsibilities within the Israelite camp that would enable him to enjoy greater kavod (honour) and status in the eyes of others—an aim that could scarcely be described as “for the sake of Heaven”.

Korach was a member of the generation that received both the written Torah and its oral counterpart, of which Avot is a key component. That tractate contains much guidance that could have steered Korach away from his path to self-destruction. For example, it would advise him to be content with his lot (4:1, 6:6), to judge Moshe favourably and not view him as seeking to cling on to the reins of power for his own glory (1:6). If this was insufficient, he would be warned against seeking power and authority (1:10) unless there was no-one else to lead the people (2:6). On a positive basis, he would have appreciated that it is those who work on behalf of the community “for the sake of Heaven” who derive assistance through the merits of their forebears (2:2): with a little introspection he might have asked himself whether in all honesty he possessed this quality.

Where does this leave Israel’s disputatious and fissiparous politicians? There is a widely-held perception that politicians are ambitious, self-seeking and concerned only to promote the sectarian interests of their supporters for the sake of their own glorification. But is kavod today still just a, simple reflection of one’s power and authority?

In the modern era, the public perception of leading politicians has become increasingly critical and even cynical. Recent events appear to show that they now have to earn kavod through what they do and how they do it, rather than expect it as a perk that accompanies their status. Fortunately, for anyone who wants to acquire honour, Avot has a recipe for that too. Asking the question, “Who is honoured?”, Ben Zoma answers “He who honours others”. When politicians truly respect and honour one other, despite their differences in political, religious, economic and social ideologies, they will have taken the first steps towards earning the respect of the electorate too.

Of things and people, honour and glory

The very last bit of Pirkei Avot, the baraita that concludes the sixth perek (6:11), is generally translated along the following lines: 

Everything that God created in His world, He only created for His glory, as it is said: "Everything that is called by My name and for My glory, I created it, formed it, I made it too"; it also says: "God shall reign for ever and ever”.

The verse translated as "Everything that is called by My name and for My glory, I created it, formed it, I made it too" is found in from Isaiah 43:7. This appears to be a proof verse relating to the Creation of the World.

When I looked up this verse to check on its context, I was quite surprised to discover several things:

• The verse comes from a prophetic passage which Isaiah recites after King Hezekiah of Judah recovers from illness. Isaiah warns that the Babylonians will drive the inhabitants of Judah into exile and plunder all Hezekiah's treasures. Having painted this gloomy picture of the people’s sufferings, he then speaks of how they will return to God and become a light unto the nations. Eventually there will be an ingathering of the exiles.  This is the point at which verse 43:7 appears.

• The verse really seems to mean "Everyone who bears My name, whom I created for My glory, whom I fashioned and also made" and it refers to people, not to things.

• Commentators on Pirkei Avot all treat the verse as referring to things, while commentators on the Book of Isaiah, with only one exception, treat it as referring to people.

• Commentators on Pirkei Avot appear to pay no attention to the verse's real meaning, while commentators on the Book of Isaiah make no mention of this verse's treatment in Avot.

Since Pirkei Avot is a tractate that deals with human behaviour, the traditional translation at the top of this blogpost looks out of place. If however one opts for the verse's real meaning one gets something like this:

Everyone whom God created in His world, He only created for His glory, as it is said: "Everyone who bears My name, whom I created for My glory, whom I fashioned and also made"; it also says: "God shall reign for ever and ever”.

This makes much better sense in the context of Avot, and not just because it deals specifically with people and not rocks, trees and giant pandas. The bigger reason why it makes sense lies in the word "glory".  This word is a poor and imperfect rending of the Hebrew word kavod, often translated as "glory" but also meaning “honour”, “splendor”, “abundance”, “riches”, “dignity”, "importance", "respect" and “reverence”.  

If that were not enough, the word kavod comes with enough religious and social baggage to fill a container ship. It is both really good and fatally bad; it must not be sought after but has to be given -- and if you give it, it comes back to you.  Most significantly, the word appears in around 9% of the mishnayot and baraitot that comprise the six chapters of Avot. All of this, to my mind, justifies a radical reassessment of the last words of Avot and some fresh learning from them.