Tracing one's steps back to Avot

At the beginning of May I posted “Taking steps, or taking a path”. This piece reviewed Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s ‘Ten Steps to Greatness’, pointed out how they reflected earlier teachings in Pirkei Avot and invited readers to submit their own suggestions for acquiring greatness—which sadly none of them did.

Here’s another ten-point list to consider. This time the author is the late Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks and it was published in The Times newspaper on 5 January 2008 under the title ‘Resolutions’. For a Jewish readership the same piece was hosted on his own website under a different title: “Count your blessings and begin to change your life”. R’ Miller’s list was aimed at making people great, while that of R’ Sacks had the less ambitious aim of changing people only to the extent of making them happier with their portion in life. As with R’ Miller, so too with R’ Sacks, the question arises: is there any connection between the listed items and Pirkei Avot?

R’ Sacks’ list runs like this [but with Avot allusions added in bold text]:

1. Give thanks. Once a day take quiet time to feel gratitude for what you have, not impatience for what you don’t have [gratitude for what one has is covered by Avot 4:1 and 6:6]. This alone will bring you halfway to happiness. We already have most of the ingredients of a happy life. It’s just that we tend to take these for granted and focus on unmet wants, unfulfilled desires. Giving thanks is better than shopping – and cheaper too [on the potentially detrimental metaphorical effect of shopping see Rabbi Akiva at Avot 3:20].

2. Praise. Catch someone doing something right and say so. Most people, most of the time, are unappreciated. Being recognised, thanked and congratulated by someone else is one of the most empowering things that can happen to us [Recognising the good in other people and giving them credit for it feature in Avot 6:6]. So don’t wait for someone to do it for you: do it for someone else. You will make their day, and that will help to make yours.

3. Spend time with your family. Make sure that there is at least one time a week when you sit down to have a meal together with no distractions – no television, no phone, no email, just being together and celebrating one another’s company. Happy marriages and healthy families need dedicated time [this course of action is arguably the easiest way to achieve the objectives of ‘being loved’ and ‘loving other people’ as articulated in Avot 6:1 and 6:6].

4. Discover meaning. Take time out, once in a while, to ask: “Why am I here? What do I hope to achieve? How best can I use my gifts? What would I wish to be said about me when I am no longer here?” [Introspection of this nature resonates with Hillel’s teaching at 1:14]. Finding meaning is essential to a fulfilled life – and how can you find it if you never look? If you don’t know where you want to be, you will never get there, however fast you run.

5. Live your values. Most of us believe in high ideals, but we act on them only sporadically. The best thing to do is to establish habits that get us to enact those ideals daily. This is called ritual, and it is what religions remember but ethicists often forget [Living one’s values requires a person to exercise constant judgement in making sure that his deeds are not merely good but that they are consistent with what he is as a person, hence Avot 1:1: be deliberate in (self)-judgement].

6. Forgive. This is the emotional equivalent of losing excess weight. Life is too short to bear a grudge or seek revenge. Forgiving someone is good for them but even better for you. The bad has happened. It won’t be made better by your dwelling on it. Let it go. Move on [Forgiveness as such doesn’t get a mention in Avot, but giving others the benefit of the doubt is often a prelude to the act of forgiveness. Avot 1:6].

7. Keep learning. I learnt this from Florence in Newcastle, whom I last met the day she celebrated her 105th birthday. She was still full of energy and fun. “What’s the secret?” I asked her. “Never be afraid to learn something new,” she said. Then I realised that if you are willing to learn, you can be 105 and still young. If you are not, you can be 25 and already old [by citing what he learned from Florence, R’ Sacks provides a great example of Ben Zoma’s teaching at Avot 4:1: “Who is wise? The person who learns from everyone”].

8. Learn to listen. Often in conversation we spend half our time thinking of what we want to say next instead of paying attention to what the other person is saying [attentive listening comes in Avot 6:6]. Listening is one of the greatest gifts we can give to someone else. It means that we are open to them, that we take them seriously and that we accept graciously their gift of words.

9. Create moments of silence in the soul. Liberate yourself, if only five minutes daily, from the tyranny of technology, the mobile phone, the laptop and all the other electronic intruders, and just inhale the heady air of existence, the joy of being [as Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says at Avot 1:17: “I have found nothing better for oneself than silence”].

10. Transform suffering. When bad things happen, use them to sensitise you to the pain of others. The greatest people I know – people who survived tragedy and became stronger as a result – did not ask “Who did this to me?” Instead, they asked “What does this allow me to do that I could not have done before?” They refused to become victims of circumstance. They became, instead, agents of hope [kabbalat yisurim—a positive acceptance of suffering—is mentioned at Avot 6:6].

Thoughts, anyone?

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Following in the footsteps of Avot?

Here’s a tale from the mid-1980s, before I first became interested in Pirkei Avot.

I can’t remember how long ago I first encountered Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s then-popular “10 steps to Greatness”—but I do remember thinking at the time that the idea was somehow better than the execution and that, based on my own intuition, I would not have come up with the same list. I later got together with a learning partner and we decided that we would each compile our own lists and see how they came out.  Although my chavruta and I came from similar backgrounds, mostly shared the same views and had enjoyed similar educational experiences, we were surprised to discover that our own personal “10 steps” lists differed not only from R’ Miller’s but from each other’s. At the time I concluded that there must be more than one path to greatness and that every individual’s path depends on who they are, where they come from and where they plan to go.

I had quite forgotten about this episode until, a few days ago, I came across a reference to R’ Miller’s prescription for greatness. Medicinal prescriptions can expire, so I asked myself whether this list was still current—or had it been overtaken by events or superseded by other formulae for success in the art of being great? It then occurred to me that, to at least some extent, all 10 steps are matched or foreshadowed by a teaching from Avot.

For the record, R’ Miller’s list goes like this, with my references to Avot added:

1. Spend 30 seconds thinking of Olam Haba and that we are in this world only as a preparation for the world to come [Avot 4:21: per R’ Yaakov: this world is just a lobby before the next, so prepare yourself here].
   
   
2. Say at least once (in private) "I love you Hashem". (You will be fulfilling a positive commandment from the Torah [Avot 6:1 and 6:6 proclaim the benefits of loving God]. This will kindle a fire in your heart and will have a powerful effect on your character. Your exteriority bestirs your interiority. Hashem is listening. He loves you much more than you love him [Avot 3:13: per R’ Chanina ben Dosa: if others love you, God will do so too—apparently whether you love Him or not].
   
   
3. Do one hidden act of chesed, that no one, other than Hashem, knows about [Avot 6:1 praises the status of a tzanua, someone who is discreet]. (Have intention beforehand that you are doing this in order to fulfil your program to greatness. The practice of doing acts of kindliness - Gemilut Hasadim - is one of the three most important functions in the world [alluding directly to Avot 1:2].
   
   
4. Be like Hashem who lifts the humble, say something to encourage someone [encouraging others is being a good friend: R’ Yehoshua ben Chananya, Avot 2:13].
   
   
5. Spend 1 minute about what happened yesterday (cheshbon hanefesh) [cheshbon hanefesh lies at the core of both Avot 3:1 and 4:29]. Everyone should have his mind on what he is doing - by reviewing yesterday's actions daily.
   
   
6. Your actions should be l'shem shamayim (say once during meals) [well, actually ALL one’s actions should be for the sake of Heaven, per R’ Yose HaKohen, Avot 2:17].
   
   
7. Look into someone's face and think - I'm seeing a tzelem Elokim ("image" of God). Be aware of the principle: "Man was created in the image of Hashem." Every human face is a reflection of Hashem [R’ Akiva says this at Avot 318]. Your face is like a screen and your soul like a projector which projects on your face the glory of the human soul, which has in it the greatness of Hashem. Once a day pick a face and think: "I am seeing the image of Hashem." You will begin to understand the endless nobility of a face.
   
   
8. Just like Hashem's face shines on us, give someone a big smile [Shammai’s prescription for greeting everyone: Avot 1:15]. Smile because Hashem wants you to, even though you really don't want to. When you smile have intentions that you are doing it for the purpose of coming closer to Hashem through the Ten Steps To Greatness.
   
   
9. When saying "malbish arumim", think about the great gift of garments, i.e. pockets, buttons, shoelaces, etc. Clothing is a testament to the nobility of man. He is unique: man has free will, has a soul, and is made in the image of Hashem. Even Angels are beneath man in greatness. To demonstrate the superiority of mankind, we must be clothed. Say "Malbish Arumin" (He clothes the naked) out loud [According to several commentaries, Avot 5:8, which lists “tongs made with tongs” as being made by God just before the onset of Shabbat, actually refers to God’s gift of human creativity, enabling invention and creation of what they need. This would include their clothing—right down to their buttons].
   
   
10. Sit on floor and think of loss of Yerushalayim (privately, 1 second) [at Avot 5:24 we remember the loss of Jerusalem’s most special feature, the Temple, and call for its restoration].

I’d love to know when R’ Miller’s list was first published, and what were the circumstances that inspired or provoked its publication. Can anyone help?

It would also be good to know if readers have their own lists, which we can compare with the original. What, in your opinion, has R’ Miller omitted? And what has he listed that you would argue, should be substituted by another item? Do share your thoughts with us, please!

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