Twice in the baraitot in the sixth and final perek does the
quality of being אָהוּב (“loved”) get a
mention. First, at Avot 6:1, it appears as a reward rather than an aspiration
when Rabbi Meir lists it among the 29 merits that attach to anyone to studies
Torah for its own sake and not for any ulterior motive. The baraita at Avot 6:6
goes further: it is listed among the 48 things that form the package of
personal attributes one needs in order to master one’s Torah studies.
Two questions beg to be asked.
First, why does being loved feature so importantly in a
tractate on the perfection of human behaviour when it is an attribute that
generally lies beyond any of us to achieve by ourselves? Secondly, is there a
yardstick by which one can measure whether a person is loved or not?
On the first question, one can speculate that an element of
pre-Kantian reciprocity was in the minds of our Sages: ask yourself what qualities
in other people causes you to love others, then seek to emulate them in the way
you deal with others in turn. While subjective considerations will always be
important (one person’s endearing quality is another’s pet aversion),
reciprocity works quite well as a rough-and-ready reckoner of the path in life
one should take.
As for the second question, empirical evidence suggests that
it is quite hard to be entirely unloved. We have all seen how many villains have
loving mothers and loyal spouses. But if practically everyone is certain of
being loved by at least one other person, the threshold for being אָהוּב
is extremely low and would completely devalue the teachings in Avot.
The classic commentators do not greatly help us to answer
either question, and most later and contemporary commentators have followed
their example. When being loved is found in lists of 29 and 48 attributes
respectively, and there is so much to say about many of the others, passing
over the need to be אָהוּב is unsurprising.
So what can we glean from our rabbis? The Rambam and
Bartenura offer no discussion of baraitot of the sixth perek. For Rabbenu Yonah
it is self-evident that all the world loves a Torah scholar; if this was ever
true, it is manifestly not the case today. For Rabbi Chaim Volozhiner (Ru’ach Chaim), אָהוּבmeans
being loved by God. However, since it is axiomatic that God loves all His
creatures, this is a box that every Jew cannot help but tick. A less inclusive
way for many people to tick the same box is by simply loving God: as Proverbs
teaches: “I love those who love Me” (Mishlei 8:17). Rabbis Nachman and Natan of
Breslov offer an easy alternative: אָהוּב means “being loved by
oneself”, something that most of us can accomplish with little effort.
Some explain these baraitot by giving “beloved” a tweak. So
for Rabbi Yitzchak Magriso (Me’am Lo’ez) the word really means “lovable”:
if you are the sort of person that people love, you will attract more people
who wish to teach you Torah.
Among modern psychologists too there is little to help us.
Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski (Visions of the Fathers) tells us that one who
loves others is beloved but offers neither example nor precedent. Rabbi Reuven
P. Bulka (Chapters of the Fathers) is silent.
All of this is both perplexing and disappointing. One can
justify being loved by others as a desirable consequence of learning Torah for
its own sake, as Avot 6:1 states, but I feel that a good argument for including
in the budding Torah student’s must-have list remains to be made.
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