Dealing with conspiracy theorists

Most problems I have with my fellow humans these days can easily be dealt with by a clear and direct application of one or more maxims drawn from Pirkei Avot. But this is not a magic formula and there are times when my normally successful policy of using Avot as my moral compass is clouded with uncertainty. Here is a case in point.

I have among my friends a very sweet gentleman of relatively advanced years. He is an honest and upright citizen. He makes charitable donations, attends synagogue regularly, greets others with a warm smile and likes to help people when he can. But—and for me this is a major but—he is an ardent believer in a number of so-called conspiracy theories. Even harder for me, even though he does not say so in as many words, he assumes that his friends and acquaintances share his beliefs and seems a little hurt when he discovers that they don’t.

 I’m reluctant to argue with my friend about the validity or veracity of the theories to which he subscribes. This is not just because I don’t like to upset him but also because a key feature of every good conspiracy is that it is impossible to disprove. Avot charges us to accept the truth when we encounter it (Avot 5:9); it is, after all, one of the three means through which the world endures (Avot 1:18). It is also one of means through which one acquires mastery of the Torah (Avot 6:6). But how does one establish the truth in the first place, when every fact that one offers up as a challenge to a fanciful theory is dismissed as being part of a cover-up by the conspiratorial authorities in order to bar us from access to the ‘real’ truth.

Elsewhere Avot tells us to learn how we should answer an apostate (Avot 2:19), but my friend is not a heretic. We are also charged with distancing ourselves from a bad neighbour and with taking care not to link up with someone who is wicked (Avot 1:7) —but my friend is neither of these things.  On the other hand I don’t want to leave him with the last word in any conversation with me because, if I do not contradict him, he will assume that I agree with him.

My problem appears to be echoed by the words of the wise king Solomon (Proverbs 26:4-5). He first says אַל-תַּעַן כְּסִיל כְּאִוַּלְתּוֹ פֶּן-תִּשְׁוֶה-לּוֹ גַם-אָתָּה (“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, in case you act like him”) but then offers the opposite advice too: עֲנֵה כְסִיל כְּאִוַּלְתּוֹ פֶּן-יִהְיֶה חָכָם בְּעֵינָיו (“Do answer a fool according to his folly, in case he becomes a wise man in his own eyes”). 

So how should I respond when my friend buys into his conspiracy theories and expects me to agree with him? Suggestions, anyone?