Parents don’t get much exposure in Pirkei Avot. Though God is described as our Father in Heaven (Avot 5:23), biological parents are not explicitly mentioned at all. Since Avot means “fathers”, many commentators across the generations have explained its content by the occasion reference to fathers—but of mothers there is just one small, oblique trace. This is found in Avot 2:11, where Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai, praising each of his star talmidim in turn, says of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya אַשְׁרֵי יוֹלַדְתּוֹ (ashrei yoladeto, “happy is the one who birthed him”). This can only refer to his mother.
According to Rabbi Shmuel di Uceda (Midrash Shmuel),
Rabbi Yehoshua’s mother taught him mussar, those principles of morality
and good conduct that complement the mitzvot of the Torah. This explanation
clearly appealed to Rabbi Tvi Hirsch Ferber (Si’ach Tzvi, vol.2) who
wove it into his commentary on Eshet Chayil (“A Woman of Worth”)—the famous
acrostic at Mishlei 31:10-31 that concludes the Book of Proverbs.
Writing on the verse קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ
וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּ (“Her children
rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”) Rabbi
Ferber references our mishnah of Rabbi Yehoshua’s mother and the explanation of
Midrash Shmuel, which is itself based on another verse in our chapter of
Mishlei, the line that opens it:
דִּבְרֵי
לְמוּאֵל מֶלֶךְ מַשָּׂא אֲשֶׁר-יִסְּרַתּוּ אִמּוֹ
The words of king Lemuel [a.k.a.
Solomon]; the mussar with which his mother corrected him (Mishlei 31:1).
I have two problems with the explanation of our mishnah
based on these verses in Mishlei. First, the words ashrei yoladeto seem quite
remote from the meaning taken here and are not obviously allusive to the case
of the mother who taught her son mussar. Secondly, elsewhere in Proverbs
there is a far better-known verse than 31:1 which suggests something quite
different. At 1:8 we encounter a verse that is known to many as the lyrics of a
song:
שְׁמַע בְּנִי מוּסַר אָבִיךָ וְאַל-תִּטֹּשׁ
תּוֹרַת אִמֶּךָ
Hear, my son, the mussar
of your father, and do not forsake the Torah of your mother.
This verse suggests, at the very least, that it is the
mother’s job to teach Torah, that mussar is a task for the father, and that we
should not imbue the Lemuel verse cited above with too much meaning.
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Here are some sample versions of “Shema Beni Mussar
Avicha”:
·
Idan Dahari: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaQozNe4tZg
·
Eli Herzlich: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCGOYpY_hIg
(animated version)
·
Shlock Rock: https://www.zemirotdatabase.org/view_song.php?id=878
·
Mendy Worch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WDcUFK4qB4
