Can we all be winners?

A theme to which Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks returns on many occasions in his writings is that of the contrast between situations in which we all benefit from complying with behavioural norms and those in which one person’s benefit is at another’s expense. Judaism, he frequently observes, requires us to consider the position of others and not just ourselves. This is why its standards tend to lead us towards choosing “win-win” situations rather than those whose outcome is “winner-take-all”. To put it another way, when we cooperate with others, we can achieve much together that we are incapable of achieving alone—but when we compete with one another, we may find that we are playing a “zero-sum game” in which one person’s victory is always at the expense of another.

I was reminded of this when I spotted a comment by Rabbi Ya’akov Ze’ev Yadler in his Tiferet Tzion on the first mishnah of the fourth perek where Ben Zoma teaches:

Who is wise? One who learns from every man, as it states: "From all my teachers I have grown wise, for Your testimonials are my meditation” (Psalms 119:9).

Who is strong? One who overpowers his inclinations, as it states: "Better one who is slow to anger than a strong man, and one who rules his spirit [is better] than one who captures a city” (Proverbs 16:32).

Who is rich? One who is happy with his lot, as it states: "If you eat from the effort of your own hands, fortunate are you, and it is good for you" (Psalms 128:2); "fortunate are you" in this world, "and it is good for you" in the World to Come.

Who is honoured? One who honours his fellows, as it states: "For to those who honour me, I accord honour; those who scorn me shall be demeaned” (I Shmuel 2:30).

Rabbi Yadler comments that, when it comes to a person’s physical strength, this is only a relative asset. To put his point in colloquial terms, you can be the strongest kid on the block—but only till someone else comes along who is bigger and stronger. However, the reign of that new king of the block will only last until he is deposed in his turn by another who is even stronger. Every time this happens, the value of an individual’s strength continues to diminish as one’s physical prowess wanes. Either you are the top dog or you are not: you go from hero to zero. Self-discipline does not suffer from this defect. No-one else can take your self-discipline and will-power away from you; it does not diminish in its value if anyone else has greater personal self-control because one’s will-power is unaffected by the presence of the same quality in others. And if everyone possesses the ability to master their baser instincts, we are all the winners.

The same applies with the three other qualities Ben Zoma mentions: gaining wisdom from others, being content with one’s lot and according due respect to others. If I share my thoughts and ideas with another, we both benefit from them rather than just myself. My contentment and gratitude with my portion is not spoiled by other people’s contentment with theirs, and there is no finite quantity of respect in the world—we can all honour one another and raise the aggregate of respect that exists in our communities and beyond.