It is the
juxtaposition of books and authors that provides so much food for thought. A
classical example earlier this week came from two modern “heavyweights”, Rabbi
Abraham J. Twerski and Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks. Within two pieces of toast
and marmalade I found Rabbi Twerski (Visions of the Fathers) stressing
the importance of self-esteem and the damage suffered by those who lack it,
followed by Rabbi Sacks (Morality) pointing to the adverse effects of
inflated self-esteem on society as it apparently drifts inexorably from a “We”
to an “I” culture.
It is not
hard to synthesise these two superficially contradictory views of self-esteem.
Taking every individual separately—as Rabbi Twerski did when he treated them as
patients—the absence of an adequate degree of self-esteem can lead to a retreat
from participation in society at large, leading to loneliness, a crushing
feeling of inadequacy and a search to escape reality through the abuse of
alcohol or drugs. In contrast, taking society as a whole, the ability of its
constituent members to fulfil their potential through cooperation with others
is hampered through the assertion of any individual who believes him- or
herself to be too important to accept dependency or to contribute to the
welfare of others.
Where does
Pirkei Avot fit into this scheme? It is hard to decide. The term “self-esteem”
does not have an obvious equivalent in Mishnaic Hebrew (the term in Ivrit is הערכה עצמית). Even in English it is not a
precise term. It is clearly something more pointed than entry-level concepts of
“self-awareness” and “self-consciousness”, jockeying for a place with
“self-respect” and perhaps even “egoism”. Oxford Online offers the definition “confidence
in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect”, but self-respect and
self-esteem are not synonymous: one can possess self-respect while esteeming
oneself very little.
The rabbis
of Avot do not however leave us without guidance. They expect us to know our
positive qualities for what they are, neither hiding them nor vaunting them,
and also to respect the same qualities when we see them in others. Thus for
example a person who has the ability to teach is expected to do so (Avot 1:13)
and we are asked to rise to the occasion and face challenges when no-one else
is around to do so (Avot 2:6), even if it means raising our performance level
beyond our knowledge base (Avot 3:12, 3:22, 6:5). We should not indulge in
self-promotion above our station (also Avot 1:13). We are to earn the esteem of
others by the expedient of recognising their value too (Avot 4:1), though we
should remain as humble as circumstances permit (Avot 4:4, 4:12).
There is
also the catch-all teaching of Hillel at Avot 1:14: “If I am not for me, who am
I? And if I am only for me, what am I?...”.
These two parts of the quoted mishnah do appear to correspond neatly
with having too little, and then too much, self-esteem. But can we tie this
interpretation in with its authorship by Hillel? Arguably, yes.
There is an
aggadic passage in the Talmud (Pesachim 66a) that tells how the sons of
Beteira, having forgotten whether the laws of Pesach override those of Shabbat,
were taught the correct legal position by Hillel, whom they immediately
appointed as their head. Hillel then rebuked them for not knowing the law and
chided them for not having learned it at the feet of his own teachers Shemayah
and Avtalyon. At this point, he was taken down a peg or two by being caused to
forget a halachah himself.
We can
restate this tale as follows: Hillel arrives in HJerusalem as a humble and
unknown traveller from Babylonia, a man who has neither position nor protetzia.
He reckons that he is equal to the task of telling the Temple authorities what
they might or might not do, and has sufficient self-confidence to recognise
himself as being worthy of this task. However, once he has astounded the Benei
Beteira with his erudition and been honoured accordingly, his freshly-acquired feeling
of importance leads him to rebuke his hosts—and this is a step too far. With too little self-esteem, Hillel might
never have had the confidence and the courage to make a ruling before his
seniors; but when ultimately he displays too great a degree self-esteem, he
suffers for it.
