Be careful what you believe -- and how you believe it

We Jews enjoy conversation as much as anyone—and many of us virtually treat it as an art form. However, everything comes at a price. The laws of lashon hara (impermissible speech about other people) are many and wide-ranging; if you transgress them, you may fall foul of a possible maximum of 4 biblical curses, 17 prohibitions and 14 positive commandments, which the Chafetz Chaim lists with convenient references and explanations.

Many of these laws affect the person who listens to lashon hara, whether intentionally or quite by chance. This is because one is not supposed to give credence to it. This poses some obvious problems for the listener who is a keen student of Pirkei Avot and who is sensitive to its own issues. Thus we should always concede the truth of a statement that is true (Avot 5:9); however, the principle that we should judge other people favourably (Avot 1:6) governs information heard from a friend just as much as it governs things we can see for ourselves. Since we can’t unhear the things a friend tells us, what should we do when we are told things about someone we know, things that may well be true?

The Chafetz Chaim explains that, in practical terms, we must create a sort of halfway house between believing a statement and disbelieving it. For example, if we are considering going into business with Reuven we may hear by chance from Shimon, a former business associate of Reuven, that Reuven is dishonest and can’t be trusted. This statement may be true, in which case we should want to believe it and act upon it. It is however lashon hara and was not spoken in the context of a legitimate response to a request for a business reference.

In a situation such as this, the listener should neither believe nor disbelieve the information about Reuven. Rather, he should merely bear it in mind as one of a number of possible factors to balance when deciding whether to advance his proposed partnership with Reuven. How might we do this? One way forward for us would be to do an internet search for Reuven: Is there evidence of public knowledge that he has been convicted of a crime of dishonesty? Does he have a presence on Facebook, LinkedIn or elsewhere that may give rise to concern? It may also be worth doing the same for Shimon, who may be bad-mouthing Reuven to distract us from his own wrongdoings. We might also proceed to do business with Reuven but be more circumspect about matters such as record-keeping and transparency of accounts. Ultimately it is a question of how accurately we can predict the outcome of the proposed business relationship, in accordance of the advice we receive from Rabbi Shimon ben Netanel at Avot 2:13.

The interface between Pirkei Avot and the laws of lashon hara is vast and complex. This short piece can hardly do more than to scrape the surface of this topic and, in doing so, invite further thoughts, comments and suggestions from its readers.